The tragedy Titanic!
Her Majesty has sunk beneath the waves,
and pulled to grief her passengers
unto a final icy grave.

Thus shocked the world! And as they mourned
The Times did honor victims borne
with lines of grace and rectitude –
a simple poem.

But oh no! It lit the fire,
and flooded now the Times,
with inspired readers’ writings,
who’d tried their hands at lines,

And thus the Times replied:

What literary horrors here! You
mustn’t be surprised,
that we’ll publish not an elegy so poor
it’s why the reader cries.

In fact we’ll consider not a sonnet —
if that’s truly what they are,
if writer’s caring not for rhyme,
or meter — or meaning by far.

We’ll read not another single poem!
Nor print a single verse besides,
lest tarnish we our daily News
with your “attempt” at rhymes.

Dear readers all, please heed us well:
our mail box is well and locked–

and to whoever’s sending limericks,
for the love of God please stop.

2022
Submitted to the 2023 Wergle Flomp
Humor Poetry Competition